Some thoughts on speaking out, Part 2
My so-called fuck-you life
Last week I wrote about some books and podcasts that have helped shine a light on the subject of medical sex-trait modifications for minors. I lingered on the most recent of these books, published by Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans (PITT), whose special sauce is that its authors are almost all parents of ‘trans’-identifying young people.
Most of the PITT parent essays are signed with handles or pseudonyms due to legitimate fears of reprisal should an author be “outed” for publicly questioning pediatric ‘sex reassignment.’
Those fears are grounded in a rather alarming evidence base of its own. Some of the following examples will seem far-fetched to the uninitiated, so I have included source links for each.
Here is a small sample of Americans whose work, speech or parental rights have been curtailed by ‘trans’-activist pressure:
Dr. Lisa Littman is the medical researcher whose peer-reviewed 2018 study identified Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD) and described its tendency to spread through the social networks of adolescent girls. Immediately upon publication of her study, she became the target of personal and professional attacks aggregated online by ‘trans’ activists. Meritless accusations of ‘transphobia’ prompted her employer, Brown University, to flinch, temporarily retracting the paper as if to address qualitative flaws, of which there were none. The study was redeemed once the mob moved on, but only after Dr. Littman’s career was sidelined. [1]
Dr. J. Michael Bailey is a veteran sex researcher at Northwestern University whose 2023 ROGD study of 1,655 “Possible Cases” was officially retracted from the Archives of Sexual Behavior following a similar activist onslaught. No credible claims were made that would justify this extraordinary action. (Notably, this was the first attempt to collect and analyze data on ROGD since Dr. Littman’s foray.) [2]
Three New York Times reporters; Emily Bazelon, Katie Baker and Azeen Ghorayshi, were targeted by name in a public letter signed by hundreds of their fellow journalists earlier this year. Essentially, the three were accused of committing nuanced, in-depth reporting on a subject whose chief public slogan is #NoDebate. [3]
Paula Scanlan and Riley Gaines, former elite NCAA swimmers, have received death- and rape threats in response to their advocacy of Title IX protections for female athletes, following from their personal experience of being made to share locker rooms and compete against Will “Lia” Thomas, a 6’4” ‘trans’-identifying man, during their recent college swimming careers. They've been shouted down, spat upon, and threatened with physical violence by ‘trans’ activists outside courthouses where they’ve given testimony. Gaines was held for three hours in a locked classroom after a speaking appearance at San Francisco State University, to protect her from a student mob that awaited her exit while documenting its violent intentions toward her in a streaming online video. No arrests were made. [4]
Marlene Barbera is an Oregon woman with breast cancer who wrote a private email to her physician of 12 years in which she objected to the ‘trans’ flag that hung over the reception area of her health clinic. She said the political messaging in that setting made her uncomfortable, and she explained her reasons in polite, measured sentences. The doctor apparently forwarded her email, whereupon Ms. Barbera received this response from her insurance administrator:
“Effective immediately, you are discharged from receiving medical care at the Richmond Family Medicine Clinic. This action is being taken because of ongoing disrespectful and hurtful remarks about our LGBTQ community and staff… Please note that you are also now dismissed from all OHSU Family Medicine clinics, including Immediate Care.” [5]
Ted Hudacko is a California father whose parental rights were permanently revoked by a family court judge over his reluctance to allow his suddenly-’trans’-identifying son, age 16, to undergo medical and surgical sex trait modification procedures. Hudacko’s wife had filed for divorce and was actively encouraging their son's medical ‘gender transition.’ (The judge, it later turned out, had enthusiastically supported her own son’s medical ‘sex change’ a year before Hudacko’s case came before her.) [6]
Abigail Martinez is a Los Angeles mother who lost custody of her 15 year old daughter Yaeli after Yaeli's school, in concert with county social workers and the activist group RISE, argued successfully for Yaeli’s removal from her family and into foster care. They asserted claims of abuse that were quickly disproved, yet Yaeli remained a ward of the state. California's foster care system enabled her to begin testosterone injections even over the objections of her own court-appointed attorney. While taking testosterone, Yaeli spiraled into a depression that eventually culminated in her suicide, kneeling before an oncoming train. [7]
What these anecdotes have in common is that each begins with an adult posing reasonable, politely stated questions about the novel concept of gender identity ideology. Each of these adults went through the proper channels, and none expressed any prejudice or malice in their inquiries. The consequences in each case were dramatic, disproportionate, and in the case of Ms. Martinez and her daughter, tragic.
What do ‘trans’ activists stand to gain from such extreme, aggressive attacks on speech?
"#NoDebate" is mission critical. If pertinent facts could be shared and absorbed in the ways our society until very recently considered necessary and normal, the ‘trans’ project would collapse. This is because the movement's stated goals depend on widespread public approval of irreversible pediatric ‘sex change’ procedures, notwithstanding the physical impossibility of any human’s changing sex. Not only is there is no evidence base to recommend such practices, but there is a growing body of evidence suggesting they do grievous harm. The activist community’s grasp of this problem was broadcast to the world in a remarkable tweet by Chase Strangio upon the publication of Abigail Shrier's book, Irreversible Damage:
If you don't know, Chase Strangio is a ‘trans’-identifying attorney and a Deputy Director of the ACLU, an organization that until recently existed to oppose limits on free speech. That Strangio wasn't fired for advocating speech and book bans in 2020 is extraordinary all by itself.
This dystopian "new normal" looms heavily over our impulse to speak up. No one does so without first assessing his or her vulnerability to the sort of asymmetric punishments described above. Anyone employed by a university, major corporation or government agency including public schools risks immediate firing for publicly expressing doubts or asking the wrong questions. Consultants and freelancers risk loss of future contracts. Unmarried parents sharing custody can lose their custodial status, with those engaged in divorce proceedings at heightened risk.
Exposure to "soft" punishment is ubiquitous, both outside and inside the home. This stems from one of the most destabilizing aspects of gender ideology: its insistence on the infallibility of the child.
This infallible-child idolatry subjects parents to the surprising militancy of people in the child's life who feel deputized to protect and defend the "trans child" against any perceived threat, such as her mother or father. We encounter this from day one of the "journey:" from that point on, every conversation about the child with teachers, counselors and therapists will feature two sets of pronouns: one that represents reality and one that contradicts it. I'll be talking about my daughter with another adult who will refer to the same child, again and again, as my son. This pattern repeats for years without let-up, perhaps even with our own acquaintances or family members, as part of a multi-pronged re-education program to which they've inexplicably given themselves over.
Sometimes, the child is so psychologically welded to the ‘trans’ identity that parents feel reduced to tiptoeing around every interaction. For years, I was implored to "just use the pronouns" to signal my love and care. Nothing more severe was being asked for, so why couldn't I just do this one small thing?
But it wasn't a small thing: it was a demand for overt dishonesty whose only purpose was to prime me for the next concession. If this demand came only from my child, it would have been more easily resolved; but it often came from other "supportive" adults, and sometimes in the presence of my child. The environment began to feel like a psy-ops experiment measuring the point at which parents will relinquish their tether to material reality, and with it, the child. I adopted a tortured syntax that avoids pronouns altogether, which is a form of tiptoeing around the truth; but I don’t do that anymore.
Who can afford to speak out against such a thought-annihilating hellscape without a protective cloak of anonymity? I see us divided into two types: the preferred one by far is the J.K.Rowling/Dave Chapelle/Elon Musk type. The other describes the likes of me. The author, podcaster and discerning subscriber to this newsletter, Meghan Daum, put it best: "I don't have fuck-you money, but I kind of have a fuck-you life."
Same. For me, this means having a negligible online presence, a tolerant family and friend group, and a business from which I can't be fired because there's no one above me. Okay fine, there's no one below me either. I still have to worry about my daughter's reaction, because she's not fully out of the woods yet. But, when I review our tumultuous seven-year struggle — which has every chance of becoming an eight year struggle if not nine or ten — I become more and more convinced that sunlight, whether or not it can fully or quickly disinfect anything, is the only way forward for us.
I've told her about this Substack, and about my contribution to the book Women's Rights: Gender Wrongs, which now has a publication date of October 13. About the book, she said she's happy for me and encouraged me to travel to Glasgow for the launch event. That's an illustration of her kind, generous heart, as well as her ability to hold two thoughts at once: we can disagree about her gender ideas without staking our relationship or our love for each other on who's right and who's wrong. She has even hinted at a willingness to participate in this exercise, which is how I would like for you to learn her story. Until then, I'll try to stay in the lane of my own experience.
On that note, I have one more thing to say about choosing public dissent. The urge didn’t come quickly or easily to me. I felt no courage at all until people I now hold in the highest esteem went first: journalists like Jesse Singal, Katie Herzog, Abigail Shrier and Helen Joyce. When Bill Maher, who’s in a class by himself, interviewed Dr. Deborah Soh on “Real Time,” it was the first time I’d seen anyone daring to defend human sexual dimorphism in public. (Please let that sentence look impossibly crazy in ten years.) That was June, 2019, so I was already three years in.
I’m not sure I have courage now, but I have disgust. I have outrage. Because others have shown courage, it’s now clear that this scandal will be exposed, and the activists’ obscene, rapacious greed for young victims laid bare. When that day comes, I just want to be on the record as a member of Team Sanity. That’s my motivation.
I will never say “I told you so” to my daughter. She was an innocent, credulous child who had no way of predicting what she was up against — none of us did — and whose wellbeing could not matter less to the activists and, yes, groomers who spotted a live one seven years ago and still won’t let go. I will never have anything to say to them. But the enablers, the legions of zombie lieutenants in their Team Kindness uniforms, imploring me to get with the program: Why can’t you just respect his pronouns? Would you rather have a dead daughter than a live son?
Just let me at them, when this is all over. I’ll have courage by then.
Sources:
https://www.genderclinicnews.com/p/littmans-vindication?r=l5fbr&utm
Oregon Breast Cancer Patient Dropped From Family Health Provider After Objecting to Trans Pride Flag, Reduxx.info 8/2/23
Thank you for these fantastic posts. I am a teacher in Canada, or more precisely, was a teacher. I’m 54 yrs old and was working part time in an elementary school but decided to quit because I could not bear to take part in the secret social transition of children, a common occurrence in this particular school. And what made it even worse for me was my inability to speak out. I tried a few times to carefully raise my concerns but realized quickly that I just wasn’t brave enough to say what I think, what I know to be true. I have spent every day since I quit trying to figure what I can do to fight this insanity, but I always end up back at feeling not courageous enough. Certainly my circle of friends does not want to hear about anything gender related and it has strained many relationships. But one day I will speak more publicly , I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t .
Bailey (in)famously was dragged through the mud by a group of academics and media-connected activists led by Lynn Conway, Deirdre McCloskey, Joan Roughgarden, Andrea James, and Julia Serano. Goes without saying, all of the are AGP.