I'll be back before you miss me!
Just a note to say I’ll be climbing out of the rabbit hole for the next two to three weeks for what I hope will be a sort of genderqueer detox program. Here’s what I’ve got lined up:
A family trip with my husband and all three kids plus the two bonus ones (our daughter-in-law and the hopefully-future-daughter-in-law). Both young couples live in Chicago, which for those who don’t know is the best US city. Visiting them in May means a Cubs game, amazing food, many overpriced cocktails and, if I get my way, some karaoke and/or standup comedy. So excited!!
Also, I want to log as many hikes as I can before the lush green hills behind our house become the crunchy brown oven-hot hills (with snakes — I’m not a fan).
And, I plan to read two books with real pages:
First: Seabiscuit, which my daughter wants the whole family to read so we can see why it’s her favorite — a request I’m delighted to oblige!
Then: An Abundance of Caution, the new reporting by David Zweig on America’s odd determination to keep all of its healthy schoolchildren alone in front of screens for far too long during the Covid pandemic.
Both books are technically NOT ABOUT GENDER!!, which is the thing to notice. But the latter has me feeling suspicious about whether there’s a pattern to be recognized wherein millions of American kids were exposed to certain predictable harms as part of a failed scheme to save us all from the potentially worse harms posed by Donald Trump. But I haven’t read it yet, so I’ll get back to you on that.
I will return with a podcast episode I just recorded with the documentary filmmaker Vaishnavi Sundar (find links below to her two films on gender which you’ll love if you don’t already). Then, thanks to Parents with Inconvenient Truths about Trans (PITT), I’ve arranged to interview Dr. Miriam Grossman, the author of Lost in Trans Nation, which I recommend first and most emphatically to all parents of gender-confused kids. That’s happening May 26, so if you too are a devotée of Dr. G and have good questions for me to ask her, please write them in the comments.
See you soonish!
Cheers,
Jenny
Links for those not detoxing at the moment:
Films by Vaishnavi Sundar, available for free on YouTube:
Dysphoric: a four-part documentary series released in 2019
Behind the Looking Glass, the first-ever documentary about the experience of trans widows and children, released in 2024
Lost in Trans Nation: A Child Psychiatrist’s Guide Out of the Madness, by Dr. Miriam Grossman (published 2023) Also available as an audiobook —narrated by the author!
Dr. Grossman’s moving PITT article published April 30, 2025: My Colleagues Have Failed You
My backyard gym/church/therapy office, as it looked on May 1
Chicago!! Do have a glorious vacation. You have thoroughly earned the right! And please do say hello to my old stomping grounds.
Enjoy the needed time away with your family!!
Questions for Miriam Grossman (feel free to simplify them!):
Of course I want to start with expressing deep appreciation for your book, your efforts to protect ROGD kids, and your profound understanding of the parents’ experience.
I wonder if you could try to explain how we can make sense of the affirmers. How is it you, for instance, see this all so clearly, but so many do not? I’m not talking about the ones who see it but can’t risk losing their jobs, tribes, etc., although I am interested in the factors that allow some to risk it all anyway. But I’m most curious about those who truly believe that these children “know who they are” and therefore should be able to do these incredibly harmful, risky things to themselves.
I’m asking as both an ROGD mom, betrayed by friends, and equally as a psychologist, betrayed by my profession. And I’m asking not only because of my anger and exasperation, but also because I think we might need to understand the minds of the indoctrinated more deeply so that we can recruit more into reality and away from perpetrating this medical and psychological scandal.
More personal, myopic question: What do you think makes it more likely that a young person who has been socially transitioned for many years will desist without ever medicalizing?